ShortcutsFashionMedia in China report that vendors are dressing peaches in tiny knickers to mark the upcoming Qixi festivalHave you ever noticed that a peach looks a bit like a human bottom? Have you ever sought to draw attention to this fact by dressing a peach in a tiny pair of women's knickers? What do you mean "of course not, what a weird question"?
A fruit vendor in Nanjing, China has started selling peaches wearing tiny pairs of knickers in celebration of the upcoming Qixi festival, the Chinese version of Valentine's Day. Kotaku.com reports that "the juiciest, most delicious peaches on Earth" (according to the Wall Street Journal) come from Yangshan in Wuxi, an area famous for its lingerie and garment industry, and the peaches' panties were put on "by hand" – as opposed to by some kind of fruit-dressing robot.
According to the report, which cites several Chinese news sources, the vendor chose the suggestive name "Ripe Fruit" and sells them in silk or chiffon-lined boxes of nine, which will run you a pricey 498 yuan (about £48).
It also says the fruit vendor in question claims to have applied for a patent on panty peaches as they are none too pleased that fruit vendors elsewhere in Shanghai are also sexualising their produce. They are even filing for infringement with the intellectual property bureau, which seems fair enough. It's hard to believe fruit vendors all just happened to realise the potential profit margins of peaches in thongs at the same time.
This news raises even more questions than it does eyebrows. Here are just a few:
Who is buying boxes of "sexy peach butts"? And for what purpose?
How will peaches in thongs be incorporated into the romantic celebrations of the Qixi festival? Are they for single men? Parties? The office?
Were those pants made specifically for peaches (has anyone ever had to type that sentence before?), or is there now an increasing number of children's dolls going commando?
If the pants were made specifically for peaches, who made them?
How did this get past the Chinese censors? They block the Dalai Lama's Wikipedia page, but this they broadcast?
How are we supposed to assimilate a box of peach tushes into our world view? "World as it was plus thong-sporting fruit"? It's not going in.
Do they deliver internationally?
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